Do the Interns get Zissou Glocks?

by Steven Bartholomew | August 19, 2022 | 0 Comments

What’s up gangsters,

Steven here, again, Violent Littles's new guy and future Food & Beverage Director. I’m still waiting for my license to get approved, although I heard it’s probably at the bottom of the pile. Oh well, the show goes on.

I know you guys are probably thinking what the hell even is this patch? And I say that with confidence because that’s exactly what I said to Yanne when he showed it to me for the first time. He answered quickly, “Bro, go home tonight and watch The Life Aquatic with Bill Murray.” Personally, I don’t like to bring work home with me but you don’t always have a choice. And if "work" is watching movies and taking a couple notes...ok, fine, I got this. 

So what was my take on this Wes Anderson goldmine? When the Hell did Bill Ubell learn to speak Filipino, in the Navy? And why does an older white man need to be fluent in Filipino? I would assume he visits the Philippines quite often, and on his visits maybe it's crucial to be perfectly clear with the locals exactly what kind of "stuff" you are looking for.

Also, get Steve Zissou some fuckin range time. The dude couldn't shoot a fish in a barrel. Thank God the pirates were no better. I don't think I've ever seen a movie scene with so much shit popping off without somebody even catching a piece of shrapnel. All and all though, highly recommend this film, 10/10, setting aside the liberal optics of the writer/director aside.

Now, I’m very aware of the demographic we attract, and for all our readers who love to pick apart action scenes like you're debriefing an Op in Fallujah, I’m sure you guys found many faults in this one. But you guys are forgetting one major detail. Any way you look at this situation, it still ended in the same result. No major friendly casualties, and more importantly, no more fucking pirates on his boat. Both of which can be attributed to the power of the Zissou Glock, which were actually just regular black flavored Glocks in the movie, so we took artistic liberties, and a tactical baby blue bathrobe, of course.

So what do we have here? Violent Little… New Morale Patch…Glock…Bill Murray. Oh boy. That’s the kind of inappropriate behavior that would shut this whole production down.

Have a good one,

Steven (and Yanne dropped in for some choice edits and basically changed a bunch of my writing around.)

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