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Violent Little Email of the Week...WTF?

by Yanne Root | November 02, 2016 | 0 Comments

Violent Little Email of the Week goes to Doc. Doc wins a special prize for being all fucked up.

Hello Yanne, (I know pronounced "Yawn" but any Greek heritage by chance?…my last is (Redacted)…fucking Chinese🤔or some shit like that or at least I think it is😋..and unlike your name, mine just apparently cannot be pronounced by goddamn anyone!😉Eh fuck it tho; like the anonimity of simply being just the good Ole' Doc!) OK, SOO now that I've gone on like a bitch for real real, there is actually a point to this email brother.
 
I got my order FAST! 26OCT16, actually around 1500. However there was one little disappointment, and I've never had any complaints ever from my VLMS shit; love it all. My LOCKOUT Dip can looks like the mail man took a phillips head (or flat-wtf ever) to few parts on it…
 
I've ordered from ya Yanne from the very beginning of VLMS with my first purchase being a Blk on Blk trigger necklace, 4 original VLMS leather patches, only one of which has and will ever be utilized on my carrier/cover/loadout/etc btw, but by far my absolute favorites were the two breachers; my OD and Blk babies. Impecible service and craftsmanship was demonstrated at every level in all of your work I've ever seen so, I know you had no idea when this shipped it was like that, or that during shipping possibly the mail man fucked it up. Idk..just know cosmetically she's kinda beat the fucking hell up. Although, the rest of my package including my Freedom card and even my beautiful little white n gold "VLMS Ribbon of Fucking Sucking 4 Particaption" (loved that shit too btw bro lol Ty) were all just fine & perfect really. I'm going to include a few various pics so you get the idea of what I'm talking bout here. If there's anything that can be done here bro that's just awesome but if not, no worries, bc I'm faithfully one HOOYAH Violent Little MIKE FOXTROT for fucking life!!!🇺🇸🤘🏻♠️
 
(Pics in next email. They wouldn't all go through with messsage as well, sorry.)
 
One last question brother and sorry I'm taking up your scotch time..and my fucking time.. Are there any more Breachers going to be made anytime soon? In my Xe days, Tech diff name at time, my battle buddy and I got pretty damn fucked up on our last operation (he a lot worse than I, but it took both of our careers out there & leaving him chairbound and me blown n' shot to shit. Luckily I recovered enough to join my Paw as a LEO; he's NCSHP Troop H -Charlotte/piedmont area- Commander, and I'm a MCSO Redacted (..Charlotte..yeah😅😆lol) So, I left my battle buddy, my brother with the baby of mine he admired so much; my OD Breacher w/my blown up from that op but still functioning, and now full of character old Surefire attached to her(actually combo is handy as hell to him especially being chair bound..put a lil hook n loop square on on reverse below bot and another on his R chair arm so he's always got her riding shotgun!🙏🏻😃) Kinda did that just as like a "get the fuck better" type thing. My black one though lol well, bro you know how scotch and in my case JD can make even damn good op's a little..hmm..forgetful??😉😇😏 Where she is today, is known only but to God and the little anonymous spineless cock sucking bitch that stole her. Sooo,  I REALLY REALLY wanna get me a couple, or even one, just whatever my money sit is permitting, to replace by far my fav VLMS device ever..that's if you'll be making any more there brother. Miss her soo much bc not only sexy as hell with her sterling Emerson bad intent lanyard, but I used her like no ones business most ery'day of my life. Now I gotta settle for my MUT. 😠🙁 Awesome tool and like my weaponry it's always with me but it's certainly no mother fucking VLMS breacher dammit..I just want my baby back lol
 
Ohh! Any issues with me getting the original VLMS Robot tatted on my ass?? Seriously! Well, not literally on my ass but somewhere. Gonna get the beautifully humbling, somber image "Heavy Days" done auth of 30 sec out, and wanted to kill two or three bad ass tatts at once. I'd be more than happy to send u pic of me getting it and the finished products; that is if it's ok as it is YOUR image after all..but would love doing that, I love VLMS and call me a Bitch for the following I REALLY don't give a fuck, but heavy day's touches that well, "heavy spot" in all of our warfighters hearts, and I just would love to do that as I'm going to do for 30. 
 
Know you like "swag" and gear pics, so I did my best to make ya some cool and funny ones; not only the LOCKOUT ones. Remember though bro I'm good at shooting people, NOT goddam pics so forgive me if they're not great. Spent an hour or so trying so I do hope they aren't too fucking horrible. 
***My Shield, SWAT Eagle, & Expert SWAT Sniper Tab are present in a couple of them-there's only six men in that big ass agency, me included, who have both the eagle and expert sniper tab so I'd be ID'd real easily. Also only the us six are allowed to pick our own weaponry from sidearms, long guns, etc. I'm the sole Ofc who carries a customized Sig Sauer P229 with a custom engraved on top Stainless slide which again bro, is too is present in pics..like I said I'd be ID'd very easily and here, Charlotte, I'd be crucified like nobodies goddam business as the city and county of Char-Meck are SOO mother fucking liberal, TBL hating, bitches for the far vast majority. Can't even piss in a "men's" room anymore! Wtf?! This is NC not any kinda Afghani post! So please Yanne, if ya choose to use those pics, PLEASE for Gods sake don't put any of my info there with em my brother***
 
(See pics) Meet my Battle Bitch Marylyn!!😆Bitch has been in my pocket or in a Molle pouch on my vest on EVERY operation, training school, patrol/SWAT callout, etc since I took the oath at only 17-1/2 y/o!!😋Told her we were gonna hold the first annual "Battle Bitch Beauty Contest" for Yanne and that slut goes, "OOO YANNE!!"😂Fucking ho..I swear to Christ man..😏
 
Told her she needed to class her shit up for it a bit, right?!?, ya know bring a little bit of sexy violence to it, and wouldn't ya know.. My Bitch placed and even did so AWESOME AT SUCKING she won this purrty little white fucking ribbon for participating!!!🙌🏻😆😂😋🤘🏻OK-now my real bit..whoops..😅I mean Ashley is yelling, "enough iPhone shit baby if you want some get your big ass in here NOW, I mean NOW dammit!"😯LOL
Love VLMS, Yanne, and all that jazz but hey, ya know brother... (Bye, Felicia😆)
🤔👍🏻👱🏻‍♀️👙👠👀👮🏻😃😈🙌🏻
 
 
Thank You Very Much Yanne!
Be safe and stay blessed always my Brother, and toss one back for me tonight! I'll do the same and some more!! HA!😈😆😂
 
-Doc'♠️🏻OUT🖕🏻

September's "Me Love You Long Time" Little Bag of Violence

by Yanne Root | September 29, 2016 | 0 Comments

From the Delta to the DMZ, Violent Little Machine Shop is bringing the heat. This month's Little Bag of Violence was inspired by Vietnam and the hard-as-nails Gentlemen who frequented the swamps in search of Victor Charles...and those bold-ass men who visited the late night parlors of women-of-the-night. So grab your Mk-79 frag and your 45 pistol and clear that spider hole, because shit's about to go down. Click below to sign up for your own subscription. Bills on the first, ships on the 10th. $30 with FREE US Shipping. Comes with an exclusive and limited patch and t-shirt, and a mystery item. 

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LET'S DANCE T-SHIRT

 


IF WE SAY THIS BEACH IS SAFE TO SURF, THEN THIS BEACH IS SAFE TO SURF. THE NEW SHIRT DESIGNED BY JOSHUA JOHNSON. SURFBOARD ON THE SKID, FUCK YEAH.

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BAD DAY MORALE PATCH

GEN. NGUYEN NGOC LOAN WAS QUOTED SAYING "THESE GUYS KILL A LOT OF OUR PEOPLE AND I THINK BUDDHA WILL FORGIVE ME". WAX POETIC. THIS GUY HAD A BAD DAY...COMMIE.

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ASSHOLE PARKING STICKER

NOT REALLY ANYTHING TO DO WITH NAM BUT IT'LL DRIVE PEOPLE SO CRAZY THEY'RE GONNA THINK THEY'RE BACK IN THE SHIT. AN EGGSHELL STICKER PEELS INTO A MILLION LITTLE PEICES WHEN YOU TRY TO PEEL IT. QUITE ANNOYING AND WILL CAUSE ANYBODY WHO PARKS LIKE AN ASSHOLE TO THINK TWICE.

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HASHTAG YOUR #LITTLEBAGOFVIOLENCE ON INSTAGRAM. BEST MONTHLY PHOTO WINS A SWEETLY LACKLUSTER PRIZE.

An Interview with Southfarthing Patch Co.

by Yanne Root | August 08, 2016 | 1 Comment


VLMS: Tell us a little about yourselves:

Reid: Well, I’m currently active duty military. Full time husband, full time father, full time student, and part time patch designer.  I enjoy getting outdoors, grilling assorted meats, and travelling overseas.  I enjoy a fine scotch, a mellow cigar, and revenge on my enemies.

Jon: I'm a graphic designer by day, and a husband/father 24/7. I don't always get to flex my creative muscles at work that much, so patch design is one of the ways I get that fix. I enjoy a good stout, weird roadside attractions and getting lost in the woods.

VLMS: What kinds of fucked up shit are you guys into?

Reid: I collect dirty Band-Aids that have fallen off of strangers from any public pools I visit. I have 12,465. Each of them have names and I categorize them by blood type, geographic origin, and flavor. The best flavor you ask? Maurice.

Jon: I'm a simple guy. I like a good round of disc golf while enjoying a hoppy adult beverage. The sound of those discs hitting the chains, echoing in the woods, is like music to my ears. It's really freeing since I play completely naked, which is doubly interesting, because I'm also a hugger.  

VLMS: What do you do in the military? How long have you been in?

Reid: I started my military career turning wrenches on engines for the mighty KC-135. You can't kick ass without tanker gas, am I right?? However, after becoming sufficiently jaded fixing the same crap and cleaning out desert sand from the cowling, I decided it'd be much easier to break the jets than fix them. I ended up heading to pilot training, mostly to wear pajamas and be worshiped by the "normies". Unfortunately, what no one told me about flying planes is that they expect you to also LAND the planes. Which is BS.  Apparently, I'm not so good at that part. So, after being forcibly and permanently grounded with extreme prejudice and a near lawsuit, the powers that be saw fit to transition me from fighter pilot to fiber pilot. I'm now in a Joint mission with [REDACTED] where I [REDACTED] in a building with no windows.

Jon: I thought about joining up, but I've got the whole Steve-Rogers-pre-super-soldier-serum thing going on right now, and unfortunately the Army tells me there's no super-soldier-serum.  I call them every other day just in case. Since my dreams are thoroughly crushed, I opted for the civvy life and got a liberal arts degree in design. So now, I'm lucky if I'll be able to pay back the loans I had to take out for my TI-83 calculator in college (pro tip, turns out you don't even need a TI-83 for a liberal arts degree, it’s basically just talking about your feelings for 4 years).

VLMS: Do you think you've missed the boat on this whole patch thing...I mean, a little late to the party, right? Its kind of like being into coke and just skipping the 80's...

Reid: If there is one thing I've learned from consistently showing up late to staff meetings and All Calls, it’s that if you're late, you usually miss a whole bunch of the BS, and you look super important interrupting all the people who actually deserved to be there and you get stared at the whole time as you make your way loudly to your seat.  

Jon: "Did someone say ice cold refreshing Coca-Cola?" See? That's that liberal arts degree at work. Now you want a coke right? Right!? I’m a genius at marketing! Or any other liberal arts… they’re all the same really. Someone pay me! I'm so hungry….


VLMS: Where have you been overseas...any good "port call" stories you can share?

Reid: I'm Air Force, so I'm not sure what this "port" is you speak of. Do you want me to regale you with stories of maxing out my Hilton rewards points, and getting upgraded to the Executive Suite? I don't have any good lady-boy or donkey-show stories like a damn Sailor or Marine. I mean, one time the maid forgot to put a chocolate on my pillow and I throat punched her. Does that count? I once vomited in a flower pot in Ho Chi Minh city, and took a well-angled picture of Mao saluting a Walmart in Beijing because 'Merica. 

Jon: Well if Reid’s not going to talk about it, there was this one time in Thailand where we found this bar.  And for $3 American you could… hold on.. Reid’s giving me the secret "shut up or I’ll kill you" hand signal... Stand by.

VLMS: Doing business with us can be a liability...I mean, if you ever run for president this is going to come back to bite you in the ass. You think this is the right call?

Reid: So, this shit-show of a 2016 election has taught me you can pretty much be the world's largest douche and be nominated by either party, so I'm not overly worried. Considering a veteran hasn't ran for President since GW, and Mattis isn't taking the hint, by the time I throw my hat in the ring, assuming we still have a democracy, I'll be a breath of fresh air. "Oh look, this guy had principles for at least a little bit and he looked out for someone other than himself, well hot damn, it’s about time". My campaign slogan will be "Sorry I'm late". 

Jon:
I plan on being the Billy Carter to Reid's Jimmy Carter. A comical background figure, shamelessly promoting a beer named after me while leaving a trail of international scandal. What a scamp!

VLMS: Will you give us a glimpse into any future projects?

Reid:  Well, I know Jon is working on something LotR related so we’ll get back to our roots a little with that one.  I’m working on a project that will represent all the branches of service, and another that I hope really gets at the heart of the patch community.  I’m planning on a series of patches that can only be purchased in “grab bag” format.  There will be a series of 6, but it’ll be a random selection of two when you purchase it.  In order to collect all 6, you’ll have to trade with other collectors.  I’m hoping to inspire a resurgence of trading, because who doesn’t remember how much fun that was when you were a kid?  I remember carrying all my duplicate X-men cards around trying to find someone who had the cards I needed to fill out my collection.  I hope it’ll be fun for everyone.

Jon: While Reid is working on a couple of really cool projects for the military crowd, I've got a couple of LotR patches that will continue to represent our namesake. While or first LotR patch was a fun trip through the shire, the next one comes from a darker side of Middle Earth. That's all I've got to say about that for now.

Join us in welcoming Reid, Jon, and the Southfarthing Patch Co. to the game of bullshit we call "patches". Well done, boys!

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