Skateboards, Polaroid cameras, meatball subs and a broken hand, this story has it all. Let me start from the beginning. Since Munson showed up a few months ago from Florida, the entire gang has been talking about learning to skateboard. Why? Well, why not? We all had Skateboards, some of us were more skilled than others (Emily and I had about as much experience skating as we do hunting whales).
Fast forward a few weeks and there are nine skateboards floating around the office. Yanne and I had previously gotten a little carried away at a silent auction and, well, we bought a few skate decks. Yanne, always with the most fun ideas, said "Hey, lets ride our boards to lunch". It was a beautiful Friday up here in Sun Valley, Idaho, and we like to take advantage of the warm weather while we still can. The target was an easy, slightly uphill destination about two miles away on a smooth bike path. Easy enough.
The first part of our trip was pretty mild. Nobody got hurt, it was slow, and Emily was wearing a ski helmet. We arrived at lunch, talked about weird dreams over beer (or apple juice in Emily's case). I may have exaggerated on the meatball subs, I just really wanted to order two like I was in the movie Point Break.
Heading back to Violent Little HQ from the restaurant is a nice, gentle downhill, with one slightly steeper section at the beginning. I'd recently quadrupled the amount of time I'd spent on a skateboard so I thought "Shit, I got this". I hopped on and quickly discovered what loose trucks and speed wobbles are all about. I ditched it and rolled a few times before coming to rest in some sage brush. My hands suddenly looked like raw hamburger, but other than my ego nothing was too badly damaged.
We got that one crash out of the way, so it was just time to cruise the easy section. We were getting our legs under us, learning to carve, having fun. Cars passing by were looking at us, probably jealous that they don't have as much fun as we do. I was admiring the ski hill in the distance when all of a sudden I discovered a skateboarder's worst enemy...a pebble. This time I wasn't as fortunate and planted all my weight into my hands. If my hands looked like hamburger before, they just looked like unprocessed meat now. I brushed it off, Munson and I posed for Polaroid photos, and everyone driving by laughed at me (I ain't even mad). Once we got back to the shop, I knew I'd fractured my hand. It's not the first time I've done it, so I already knew what was up. I cleaned the wounds with some Dr. Little's Aids Cure, did the sensible thing and spent the next few hours with a cold beer in my hand.
Safety is key.
Thanks for reading,
Friendtime Friday was something I came up with before I left the Teams. Life gets busy and everyone has shit going on, so it was important to me that we all get together at least once a week and do something as a group. That's how lasting friendships are created, and now I have lots of great stories. Like the one I'm about to share with you.
The other day, Nate, Emily and I decided to attend the Lord Huron concert here in town. Yanne didn't come, as he had a meeting with Paul Allen or something. We made sure he was there in spirit. We drink, we sing, we laugh and drink some more. You’d be pretty surprised about how much vodka Emily can put away.
Some beers and a few flasks later, the drunk hunger starts to set in and that’s when Emily saw someone with pizza. She decided that she NEEDED pizza. Nate and I witnessed her transformation into this pizza craved gremlin. She searched for pizza on the concert grounds and found nothing, so she began to call all the pizza places in town. It’s a small mountain town, so there’s like three options. When one finally said that they would deliver to the concert venue, the order began to be placed and our excitement grew. Here's some of that conversation:
Emily: "Could we please get ranch and marinara sauce on the side?”
Operator: “Okay, sure. Small ranch and marinara on the side.”
Emily: “Like...enough for three people.”
Operator: “Of course.”
Emily: “So like a lot please."
Emily is the only one here that really eats her pizza with ranch, so you can imagine her excitement when they showed up with three half pint containers each of ranch and marinara. As a matter of fact, she was so excited when they called upon their arrival to the venue, she ran barefoot to get the pizza. Check out the photo below of her holding the pizza and see the joy on her hungry little face.
All in all, it was an amazing time hanging out with those two. We each have different personalities (as you see in the photo) and bring different energy into the shop and I hope you enjoy the shit we do as much as we enjoy doing it. We are all grateful and happy that life has led us here, to the creation of this Violent Little Family.
Stick around...you won’t believe what’s coming next. Or you will, because we're full of empty promises.
Unicorns and M4s,
Cheers to us!
Look how happy she is to have the pizza and all that ranch.
We see more and more every day that people are becoming increasingly fixated on the concept of “Every Day Carry”. This is most prominently seen in the Tactical space. Concealed carry sidearm, folder knife (or two), your favorite Violent Little morale patch, maybe a multitool...and a plain ole leather wallet (or worse...a velcro trifold). Why does nobody carry a tactical wallet? Maybe because the notion of a tactical wallet is ridiculous, but we have the next best thing.
Fortunately, the crew at Violent Little Machine Shop have just the remedy for such a travesty; The Kydex Shock Wallet. It’s bomb-proof, water-proof, idiot-proof, _____-proof, light, fast, tactically tactical, and it’ll probably even make you age slower.
We decided to use Kydex as our material for the same reasons it’s used for damn near every gun holster you see any more (apparently Kydex is mandatory to be considered a tactical wallet). Kydex is a thermoplastic acrylic-polyvinyl chloride, which is a fancy term used by people who want to sound smart. Essentially, it’s a plastic made from acrylic and PVC. This little match made-in-heaven results in a plastic that has the rigidity and formability characteristics of acrylic, with the toughness, chemical resistance (read: buttsweat-proof), and high finish capabilities from PVC. Unlike Kip’s tupperware set, this product can actually be ran over by a 1975 Dodge Tradesman Van (to be honest, we haven’t actually tested this).
So now onto the actual design of this tactical wallet…
The concept was to create a wallet simple enough for the Violent Little Crew to use, hold all the maxed out credit cards we could muster up, and be thin enough to not cause pressure points on those long hungover drives back from Jackpot, NV. Our aesthetic preferences change about every 6 hours, so we needed a material that came in countless finishes, textures, and colors -everything from zombie green to carbon fiber to Kryptek Highlander. Also we wanted to be able to ask people who wear 5.11 pants casually, “Yeah, but is your wallet tactical?”
All this shenaniganry swirled around a whiskey barrel of boredom, and out came our Kydex Shock Wallet.
You can stash 1 to 35 cards in this wallet.
Allow us to point out the significance of this feature: The wallet remains tightly bound with only one card in it, and doesn’t burst at the seams (note: there are no actual seams) when loaded up with 35 f*%$ing plastic cards. That should be enough italicised words to get that point across.
It’s made of Kydex.
You trust Kydex to keep your gun on your hip, and your knife from silently slicing into your hairy thighs. You might as well trust this tactically indestructible material to keep your sweaty buttcheeks from ruining your $250 limit-secured credit card. It isn’t going to crack under your pasty mass, or scratch when thrown on that dirty carpet of yours that you haven’t vacuumed since you signed your lease (this is probably why you aren’t getting laid).
Dead simple Shock Cord Tension System.
We literally just made up the “Shock Cord Tension System” name, but it’s accurate and sounds official. The notches at various positions allow you to change, on-the-fly, how tightly bound your wallet is. This also gives a handy spot to slip in a counterfeit $50 bill, allowing you to impress all those coeds at the bar that aren’t really going to pay any attention to you anyway. On a more relatable point, it’s an optimal spot to keep your Military ID to flash at the guard base. The guard will be impressed with how tactical you are and a conversation will ensue as to where they might obtain one.
Get More Thumb Hole.
Our “patented” cut out on the bottom of the wallet allows swift access to your crushing debt with a simple push up. It’s like watching David Blaine scare the shit out of strangers by making the card their grandma has tattooed on her saggy tits rise up out of the deck. This simple little feature takes the wallet from Aubrey Plaza to Mila Kunis.
The files are in the computer, and the knots are in the wallet.
This keeps the profile of the wallet smooth...and smooth is fast. There’s nothing to snag on the inside of your jean pockets. This wallet is a damn lubed-up machine. Also the edges are chamfered. We know your delicate sad excuse for hands are at least as pathetic as ours. So we made the decision that any fine craftsmen would make, and chamfered the edges for a nice safe feel….like sleeping in sheets made out of cocoa butter. Not tactical.
Let’s be real: You have just spent the last 5 minutes of your life reading about this tactical wallet of ours. At this point, that would be a tremendous waste of time if you don’t end up buying one. Imagine how much better your life will be with one. Damn...so much better.
Highest of Fives,
_The Violent Crew