New Morale Patch: "Das Boot"

by Steven Bartholomew | June 16, 2023 | 0 Comments

Gluten Tag,

The "history books" (Wikipedia) say the Bierstiefel, or "Das Boot", was an old hazing ritual used in the German military as a way to build camaraderie amongst the soldiers. That's funny, because when we got home from our first deployment, the boys and I convinced a few of the newbies in our work center that night to chug Busch Heavies out of a pair of boots that had been worn every single day for 7 months straight. In the Persian Gulf, I might add, where after one '3-hour truck rotation', you could pour a puddle of sweat out of your water resistant leather boots. I can guarantee that the previous historical statement in this paragraph was not prior knowledge to any of us beforehand. It just sounded like a good idea at the time... But, fuck it, the tradition lives on.

I very much admire the way Fink discovered the solution to the "Das Boot" dilemma while three sheets to the wind, pissing in a crowded trough in a high-pressure environment like Beerfest. I can relate, I can't recall how many deep revelations I've had while standing over a trough relieving myself, one eye opened, blurry eyed, and just trying to stay up on my two feet. Man, if those troughs could talk...

Since apparently the Germans think we suck at drinking beer, we figured we'd RESTOCK our "You Suck at Shooting" Patch to remind them to stay humble. 0-2 where it counts, boys.

We're not that drunk,


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