Violent Little Email of the Week: OVERRUN BY ISIS AND CLINTON

by Yanne Root | March 04, 2016 | 0 Comments

The Violent Little Email of the Week comes from Joseph. It was chosen based on selflessness, general bullshitness, and a commitment to Mongolian refugees. Joseph wins the new "One Size Fits All" Blackout patch and a couple of the new xo_breanne_xo stickers! Congrats and thanks for writing in. If you want to write us...which we hope you don' us at

Our customers are fucking crazy...that's a Bawnjourno lapel pin in his right shoulder. This shirtless masterpiece reminds us of our Navy days...being silly sailors.


So let me just start off by saying that this email has nothing to do with the subject, I just thought it would be catchy for you guys to read. Next I wanted to say that I ordered two of your patches (The "She Almost Got Away" and "Talk To Me Goose", which I can't find at the moment) and one "Inglorious Bastards" pin (As pictured), and I have to say that I'm very impressed! I want to take a minute here and get very personal with everybody at the shop and tell you my story.

These past few stages of life have been hard. Over the past several months I've been feeling some incredible white guilt for what my ancestors may or may not have done, I have also come to realize that the greatest presidents are those who cry during executive orders, and last and least, I have decided to look past my right-wing bias and see that global warming is real, and if any statistics or studies prove any of it wrong then they're just racist. But all of that and more changed when I bought a couple of your patches and a pin. You see I used to wonder the streets at night, looking for a purpose in life besides re-watching "The Lost Boys" ten times a day, and giving cat's and chinchillas the time of their lives. I stumbled into the local "Dollar Tree" store and bought an Apple Mac that was on sale and connected it to the wonderful world wide web. As soon as I did that, your page showed up. It was a sign from Satan. I searched for minute upon minute through all of the patches, and finally found some that I had seen in some movies that I had watched while drifting from PETA convention to PETA convention. I ordered some of your products, and to my surprise when I got them they cured me of my dyslexia, herpes, AIDS, and Black Lives Matter! Now I am currently working on finishing my PhD in eco-feminism, and then starting up my own charity to teach Mongolian refugees JavaScript, so that they can have a fighting chance in the modern day work force!

So thank you, everybody at the Shop, for helping me get my life straight and finding a purpose in the greatest country in the world, U.S.A.!!!! Also, if you guys need any help with anything at all, like anything, just let me know! Anything! Really! Anything! Something! Anything! Whatever! Please! Dear God, Please!

Yours truly,


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