Would a Spy Pee Himself?

by Steven Bartholomew | August 26, 2022 | 0 Comments

We can all pretend like we would have handled this situation with a little more dignity, but I doubt it. Personally, I try to avoid having affairs with the wives of professional killers. But if that's your cup of tea, at least take with you the lessons Ol' Simon left us with after his sticky situation. 

1. If you get caught sleeping with any man’s wife, and said man has immediate access to a firearm, tell the truth. 

2. If the truth doesn’t work, swallow your pride, piss yourself, and hope the enraged husband spares you out of pity. 

You know, I wish I could use that strategy from Simon's playbook. But the wrong person hears me say I’m a spy and the next thing I know I’m employed as security for the next Clinton campaign trail. Although I'm sure the pay is excellent, there's just something about burying government conspiracies that don't fit my MO. 

Remember, Real eyes realize… TRUE LIES!! Thank you for the guidance Bill. 

Keep on keepin’ on, 

Steven (ABH3, aka Professional C-Way Denier)

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