Skateboards, Polaroid cameras, meatball subs and a broken hand, this story has it all. Let me start from the beginning. Since Munson showed up a few months ago from Florida, the entire gang has been talking about learning to skateboard. Why? Well, why not? We all had Skateboards, some of us were more skilled than others (Emily and I had about as much experience skating as we do hunting whales).
Fast forward a few weeks and there are nine skateboards floating around the office. Yanne and I had previously gotten a little carried away at a silent auction and, well, we bought a few skate decks. Yanne, always with the most fun ideas, said "Hey, lets ride our boards to lunch". It was a beautiful Friday up here in Sun Valley, Idaho, and we like to take advantage of the warm weather while we still can. The target was an easy, slightly uphill destination about two miles away on a smooth bike path. Easy enough.
The first part of our trip was pretty mild. Nobody got hurt, it was slow, and Emily was wearing a ski helmet. We arrived at lunch, talked about weird dreams over beer (or apple juice in Emily's case). I may have exaggerated on the meatball subs, I just really wanted to order two like I was in the movie Point Break.
Heading back to Violent Little HQ from the restaurant is a nice, gentle downhill, with one slightly steeper section at the beginning. I'd recently quadrupled the amount of time I'd spent on a skateboard so I thought "Shit, I got this". I hopped on and quickly discovered what loose trucks and speed wobbles are all about. I ditched it and rolled a few times before coming to rest in some sage brush. My hands suddenly looked like raw hamburger, but other than my ego nothing was too badly damaged.
We got that one crash out of the way, so it was just time to cruise the easy section. We were getting our legs under us, learning to carve, having fun. Cars passing by were looking at us, probably jealous that they don't have as much fun as we do. I was admiring the ski hill in the distance when all of a sudden I discovered a skateboarder's worst enemy...a pebble. This time I wasn't as fortunate and planted all my weight into my hands. If my hands looked like hamburger before, they just looked like unprocessed meat now. I brushed it off, Munson and I posed for Polaroid photos, and everyone driving by laughed at me (I ain't even mad). Once we got back to the shop, I knew I'd fractured my hand. It's not the first time I've done it, so I already knew what was up. I cleaned the wounds with some Dr. Little's Aids Cure, did the sensible thing and spent the next few hours with a cold beer in my hand.
Safety is key.
Thanks for reading,
1. Bravo Bandidos- During the earliest stages of Violent Little, I came to visit Yanne before heading out on another deployment. I saw what cool things the laser could do and I asked if we could make a platoon patch. That's when I fell in love with the idea of creating patches, which was something that influenced my decision to leave the SEAL Teams...but that's a story for another time. It took a few hours to get every detail I wanted onto this patch, like the dots on the sombrero, rose on the pistol grip and all the roses and ivy on the sombrero. It's all the little things that make this my favorite patch. So much so, I gave up an arm for it and I am not disappointed. Check out the picture below.
3. Just the tip- It always reminds of that scene in Wedding Crashers, when Vince Vaughn is explaining why he doesn't seem interesting in dating. If you remember at one point I used the whole quote in an email closer to Valentines Day.
2. Heavy Days- This was the first time I saw some really great art that depicted what the effects of operating can produce. Like the stresses that drive you to drink obscene amounts of alcohol and take up new addictions like smoking or dipping. Thankfully, I was never into tobacco. It depicts the exhaustion of non-stop movement and catching those quick breaks when given the chance, before you get back up and go kick some more doors in with your brothers. It's about being each other's "guardian angel".
4. Shark Weak- If you missed out, it was one of our best Shark patches ever if I do say so myself. Now it may have something to do with the fact that I was involved on the creation that makes me love it so much. Also it's just sooo awesome.
5. 4 Bed Rats- While this one might not have been entirely popular with everyone it sure was for me. During another visit to Sun Valley we watched the cockatoo youtube video over and over again. The whole week I was there and we were drinking it was non stop "I can't do it!' and "Bed Rats!!" Sometimes when we get drunk like that we bring it back, or just when someone asks you for a favor "I can't do it!!'
Least Favorite 5
1. Abe Froman Sausage King- As a Chicagoan and fan of Ferris Bueller''s Day Off, you'd think i'd love this. But I have to say it just doesn't tickle my fancy as much as I like it being tickled. I'd like to see a PVC patch of a leopard print vest, silhouette of man with great hair and holding a mic with the words "Shake It Up Baby" hmm might be onto something here.
2. Cash Money- If it was the old Nintendo Blaster color you bet your ass it wouldn't be on here. Unfortunately even the urban "Cash Money" paint job didn't appease the south side Chicagoan in me.
3. There is No Dana- I love the Ghost Busters but damn that Dana, let little baby Oscar get taken away. Her poor parenting is basically why Vigo the Carpathian was able to get so strong.
4. Under Arrest New York- New York is just being lame, like if it's trying to be worse than California.
5. Hurt Knees- I am a fan of Burt's bees actually, like they're my favorite chap stick.
Honorable Mentions for Top 5:
-Tracking Bitch Limited Edition patch- Back when I was running the customer service I'd often time have an impatient customer who would place in order and before their confirmation email is sent, they're calling the shop and emailing me about how distraught they are over their lack of information. Sometimes I wish we'd just give this one out to the biggest whiner of the month.
-Gay Underway Patch- Being a Navy boy I've had my fair shares of "good game" slaps, often times we're not even gay we're just bored.
Fudge Yeah Friday,
Prepare yourself for another great retelling of last weekend's adventure. Hopefully it will inspire you to create your own fun story this weekend. Emily says I say "fuck" too much and it's a "crude word".
The Violent Little crew has been doing a pretty good job at continuing to go out and get involved in some shenanigans every weekend. Yanne, once again, wasn't around for the festivities. He said something about having to return some videotapes or attend a matinee of Les Mis. Luckily, we were blessed with the party presence of Mrs.Violent Little instead. She was "game on" right from the start. Beer, wine and bourbon was had all over the Hot Water Inn here in Ketchum. A local, all female band called Thunderpussy was playing. They effin' killed it and got everyone primed to tie one on for the night.
I snuck our small group onto the roof for a better view of the show, as it was quite crowded. On the roof, Mrs. VL pointed out some of her friends, still in the crowd, and asked if I could bring them up. "Sneaking around" being my specialty...because of the SEAL thing and since I'm Mexican *insert sneaking across the border joke here*. So I made my way down, wrangled up the Blonde-tourage and used all my skills and hand signals to bring them up. We were later kicked off the roof because someone lacked light discipline and got us caught.
With the show winding down, we decided to make moves to get everyone to town. The drunken math began to try to get 18 personnel and a bike back into town to continue to drink. Thankfully, Nate and I were sober enough to drive. We started jamming people in my Jeep like it was some sort of clown car, just to notice there was a cop car 40ft away facing us. Somehow, all the yelling and piling-in didn't bring too much attention our way.
We reached the bar, excited, full of joy and I was partially deaf. The decibel level six drunk girls can reach is astonishing. Drinks were poured, toasts were made, services were thanked and one lucky person got Zima'd. Yes, Zima is apparently making a comeback this year. Emily missed the girls' only shot because her basic need to feed kicked in. Once satisfied with some pulled pork sliders that she got from the meat van across the street, she returned and took her shot immediately. She does not frack around and that's why she fits in well with this group.
Unicorns and M4s,