by Steven Bartholomew |
November 10, 2022
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How the hell did Mola Ram rip the heart out of the poor bastard in the first sacrifice as easy as a hot knife cutting through butter, but couldn't break Indy's C-grip when it really counted? I'll tell you why, his work ethic is unmatched.
Ain't nobody working like Indiana Jones. Only dude I know (Not Personally.) to work a full-time job and still make time to save the world whenever the University gives him a little time off to handle his "Field Work". Imagine the Sky Miles Indy must rack up. The dude is probably a legend in every Delta Sky Club from here to Shanghai, when he's not flying private via cargo aircraft, of course.
This patch should of just said, "He no nuts! He's Indiana Fucking Jones." I think this scene would have been even cooler if that was in the script, but Steven Spielberg probably needed to keep a lid on Harrison Ford's ego. After all, this movie was shot around the same time Han Solo was just out there mobbin with Chewy all over the Empire. What a fucking savage.
Gotta respect the classics,
Steven
by Steven Bartholomew |
November 08, 2022
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It's always exciting when we launch a new Morale Patch because you never know what you're going to get. Some of them are big hits, and others, fall flat on their face and end up just taking up space in our warehouse. It's all gravy, though. That's part of the hustle out here in the patch game.
What we find even more entertaining is checking out every order that comes in on a launch day to see what our customers are purchasing. When somebody buys that new patch, it's a pretty good feeling. Even better when they buy a couple stickers to match. But, when those orders come in and they're for nothing to do with what we launched, we're kinda just like "Man, what the fuck?". More specifically, the people who place orders that don't even have a patch in it, like we're not a fuckin' patch company...?
Don't get me wrong, we value each and every one of you who decides our shit is worth spending your hard-earned money on, but like, you didn't see a single patch you liked? There's nothing like fulfilling an order for a dude who buys 37 different stickers and a damn garden shovel and just thinking, "How did you even end up here? What is your profession?"
Maybe it's just a commitment thing. Like if you buy one patch, then a couple more, where does it end? Are you going to be one of those guys with the entire cabin of his truck filled with patches? That's not for me to decide, but yes.
Just rambling,
Steven
by Steven Bartholomew |
November 07, 2022
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Is Violent Little... getting a little... Polittlecal?
I doubt it. You have to give a shit to get political and I just don't think we really do. But, that doesn't mean we won't chime in from the peanut gallery every once in a while.
Every day my RDC (Recruit Division Commander - the Navy's version of a drill instructor.) told me that either something I was wearing/doing looked like a soup sandwich. My sheets in the morning, soup sandwich. Standing watch, soup sandwich. One time, during a field day in our barracks, he walked into the head where there were three of us cleaning the shower walls and said "WTF? Y'all cleaning the fuckin' head or making a soup sandwich? I can't tell!" It was always hard to take him seriously when he'd say that, though. He was from New York, so anytime he talked to me all I could think of was Jimmy Two Times from Goodfellas.
I know all of you are so excited to vote on Tuesday, and what better way to celebrate your potential tie-breaking ballot than by rocking one of these sweet patches to the polls? All orders that come in before 3 pm EST Friday will be shipped that day in time for the truck to the USPS sorting center and on its way to you...so maybe you can wear it to your local polling station on Tuesday, nerd.
That's not one of those false promises either,
Steven
