by Steven Bartholomew |
November 29, 2022
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First thing first. Chazz Reinhold is not a kook! He's brave and a decent man! HE'S A PIONEER...
Although Wedding Crashers is probably one of the best comedies ever made, it is full of life lessons that might as well be scripture. These are serious tips provided to us by some of the best to ever do it.
1. If a girl has a temper tantrum in public the first time you ever hang out, get the fuck out of there. It doesn't matter how hot she is. That's going to be trouble down the road.
2. Never go hunting with complete strangers. Especially if you're trying to get with one of the stranger's girlfriends.
3. If you find yourself in a nude, gay art show with your hands tied to a bedframe, just be cool and try to use reason. If that doesn't work, try begging.
4. Lastly, if you are going to try to pick up chicks at a funeral, leave your emotions at home. There's too much at stake for your feelings and morals to get in the way. Keep your eyes on the prize and the crybaby bullshit at home.
Off to play the motorboat,
Steven
by Steven Bartholomew |
November 21, 2022
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Greetings,
There's nothing wrong with a little good-hearted promiscuity in the bedroom. The real issue here is the lack of communication between Mitch and Heidi. The time to tell your significant other that you're into orgys is NOT after the naked couple comes out of your bathroom with blindfolds on. I can't imagine that would be too easy for anyone to process, especially when you have a butt-naked man with his arms around you after he yells, "Gotcha!"
On the other hand, maybe Mitch just needs to lighten up and not be so quick to shut down ideas just because they're a little unorthodox. After all, it's purely sexual.
Wear protection,
Steven
by Yanne Root |
November 17, 2022
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Maverick, is it?
Yanne here, owner of this "website", with a quick letter to our three or four subscribers who are actually pilots.
I don't own a motorcycle, but every time I'm driving adjacent to a runway I stick my arm out the window and pump my arm and fist into the air, but since I'm in a truck and white I feel like it comes across more as a negative political gesture than any sort of positive encouragement to take flight. "Shutdown the airport!"
I've got a C-130 Pilot buddy out of Reno (or at least that's where he used to be until he went off grid. Or was it me that went off-grid? I don't even know if he's still alive. I could text him right now, but I'm going to keep going with the email because I like the direction this is heading in my mind). I seem to remember him saying that they all got demerits in flight school anytime they made a Top Gun reference. Makes sense. I feel like I could get through the curriculum using nothing but quotes from the movie. Sounds like a formula for success whilst also getting performance dropped and getting sent to a ship undesignated. That was the playbook I adopted for myself in BUD/s...kidding...I straight up quit.
Here are a few rules about flying, and generally being in the Navy for 15-ish months, that I've picked up along the way that you might find useful:
1) Always showboat with MIGs.
2) Disregard Air Traffic Control and lawful orders in restricted military airspace...not a big deal.
3) Turns out there's quite a bit of money in flying cargo planes from Hong Kong. It deserves more career consideration.
4) If you learn one song on the piano, it should be this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8wFBUF1ZWY
All I've got,
Yanne
