by Steven Bartholomew |
August 31, 2022
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Greetings,
For the first time ever, these once classified, stealth professionals are breaking silence and becoming known to the public eye. Maybe their work is done. Maybe it's just time these heroes want some fuckin' recognition. (Like the rest of us.) I heard the Department of Defense was just tired of covering up all their drunken mishaps out in town. Who knows, finding out the truth will probably get you killed. The only thing you do need to know is that you don't need to know. (Ask Mickey, except you can't. He also asked too many questions. See what I'm gettin' at?)
Locals say these guys frequent the bars around Southie quite often. You can't tell em' apart from the rest of the crowd, but I hear if you leave a tab open, put some Dropkick Murphys on the jukebox, and leave a pack of heaters on the bar, there's a better chance you'll spot them. But if that doesn't work, there's always Plan B. Get yourself a free stay in the South Boston Police Department Drunk Tank, you're bound to catch at least two of them in there. (They never leave a brother behind.) Rumor has it, that in time-critical operations, they've even had to conduct pre-op mission briefs in that drunk tank. The stories those walls could tell...
On the business side of things, we are now listed on Etsy. We're still selling the same shit, but it gives you guys a chance to like and leave reviews on our products which will only expand what is the Violent Little Dynasty. We pride ourselves on always trying to deliver the best morale patches and customer service as possible.
Slainte,
Steven
RESTOCKS:
"I Have to Return Some Videotapes"
"Bye Felecia"
"Roof Korean"
"Talk to me Goose"
"Flat Earth Explorers Club"
by Steven Bartholomew |
August 26, 2022
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We can all pretend like we would have handled this situation with a little more dignity, but I doubt it. Personally, I try to avoid having affairs with the wives of professional killers. But if that's your cup of tea, at least take with you the lessons Ol' Simon left us with after his sticky situation.
1. If you get caught sleeping with any man’s wife, and said man has immediate access to a firearm, tell the truth.
2. If the truth doesn’t work, swallow your pride, piss yourself, and hope the enraged husband spares you out of pity.
You know, I wish I could use that strategy from Simon's playbook. But the wrong person hears me say I’m a spy and the next thing I know I’m employed as security for the next Clinton campaign trail. Although I'm sure the pay is excellent, there's just something about burying government conspiracies that don't fit my MO.
Remember, Real eyes realize… TRUE LIES!! Thank you for the guidance Bill.
Keep on keepin’ on,
Steven (ABH3, aka Professional C-Way Denier)
by Steven Bartholomew |
August 22, 2022
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Hello Patrons (not calling you bottles of tequila),
The closest thing I've ever been to a circus was the recruiting offices in the mall. A bunch of cool posters outside to draw you in, then the immediate thought of "I'm not sure about this, these guys are pretty weird" once you found your seat. They even gave us popcorn sometimes. Damn, they really got my ass.
In our own way, Violent Little's just like P.T. Barnum and his circus group of "normal people". Phineas Taylor was on his own fuckin' program...that's for sure. Check out this "house" he built in Sarasota. P.T. did the thing. The looks I'm getting from people at family get-togethers when I tell them I'm making patches now...makes me feel a lot like ole' P.T...or at least somebody that worked for him.
I can really draw a lot of similarities between P.T. Barnum and Yanne. They just have a knack for entertaining people with elephant shit, but Yanne is a little less flashy with it. The way they orchestrate the madness and always deliver unique entertainment is something special. Really, the only difference is Barnum drank champagne with Kings and Queens, and Yanne drinks champagne with O.J. (From Yanne: Not with O.J., more like alone.)
Don't let the dream die,
Steven
